September 13, 2016 by Levi Dominic
Before I got married and had kids, I totally used to judge women who complained about their sex lives. “Oh, we rarely have sex anymore,” they would say. “Once a month, or so. Way too busy.” I thought that was just a really bad excuse.
When I was married I was going to have sex every day — maybe even more than that — because a great sex life was the key to a happy relationship. I also knew that I would be one of those pregnant women who didn’t show from the back. I would barely gain any weight, and be back in a bikini weeks after birthing my little munchkin.
Here I am, one husband, two children, fifteen pounds, and daily romps (yeah right) later, scoffing at the naivety of my former self.
Brittany Gibbons, of the blog Brittany Herself, found herself in a similar situation. Shortly after welcoming her third child, she started feeling super insecure about her body — to the point that she didn’t want her husband to see her naked.
The blogger recently penned a poignant essay for Good Housekeeping about how her insecurities with her post-baby body spawned a decision to have sex with her husband every single day for a year, and how it changed not only her relationship with him, but also the relationship with herself and her body.
In the essay she explains that before the experiment she “kept the lights off during sex,” “hid her boobs inside a camisole,” and waited for her husband to leave the bedroom before “barreling from the shower” to her closet to get dressed. After a few years she began to wonder if her husband even knew what she looked like naked anymore.
Three years ago she got an idea to have sex with her husband every day for a year, after a friend of hers shared that she and her husband had sex every day of their marriage. Her husband jumped at the opportunity, and the two did the deed almost every night — even when she was on her period. The only exemptions were if her husband was traveling for work or if one of them was really, really sick.
“My third child broke my body,” Brittany tells Babble about why she started feeling insecure in the first place.
“The first two, fine, I could fake it back into my old clothes, but child three? No way. I carried weight differently, the shape of my body inherently changed, and nothing I did helped me feel like my old self.
That is a hard reality to face. Of course you love your kids more than anything, but it’s okay to also be frustrated with having to relearn how to see yourself as a confident woman again in a new body.”